Disgraced Illinois Governor………..

Okay everyone apparently my love-fog has sufficiently lifted for me to think clearly and want to express myself on something other than my man. 

 

While perusing various websites and articles one of the major topics being discussed is the scandal involving President-elect Barack Obama’s vacated Illinois Senate seat.  I am confused about one thing.  Was it really necessary for him to clarify his non-involvement in the ongoing corruption scandal?  I mean does or did anyone seriously think that a man as intelligent, capable and quite honestly at this point as busy as he would degrade himself and all that he stands for in such a manner?

 

Governor Rod Blagojevich was already under investigation by the FBI for hiring irregularities over the last three years.  This was not a secret investigation Blagojevich was aware of the investigation yet still chose to embark on this latest unwise endeavor.  In a 76 page affidavit, officials state, the Illinois governor was “working furiously” to get as much money as possible for the Senate seat.  This was learned through wiretaps on phones at both his home and campaign headquarters.  There are indications that Blagojevich also expected an appointment to a Capitol Hill post as a part of the “deal”. 

 

Let me play the role of devil’s advocate for a moment.  In light of the facts, continually coming to light, I hardly believe that this man intended to share the ill gotten fruits of his scheme with anyone other than himself and/or close family members.  It is readily apparent that Blagojevich has and had no respect, care or concern for the president-elect.

 

This situation has reminded me of a story that a relative once shared with me.  In going through the normal day to day struggle of being a know it all teenager she was being lectured by her mother one day.  Her mother was frustrated with her poor grades and apparent lack of focus and ambition.  She emphasized that whatever her daughter chose to do she should do it to the best of her ability.  When the mother also stated that as long as this was done she would support her daughter in all endeavors the girl chose to respond with sarcasm.  She inquired, “what if I want to be a prostitute?”.  Her mother, knowing that she was being tested, replied, “then, be the best prostitute that you can be”.

 

As with many of the lectures from our youth there were several inherent lessons that the mother was trying to impart.  The obvious being taking pride in yourself and your work.  So, I say to soon to be ex-governor Blagojevich where do you go from here?  It would seem that he has decided on a life of crime for the time being.  While his crimes of choosing, thus far, have been of the white-collared variety.  The element of desperation, steadily encroaching, may make him decide to branch out.  Should this be his unfortunate decision may I suggest a little subtlety?  And perhaps better planning?

I Tried……..

Hello All,

I didn’t post for the last two days because I am currently preoccupied.  My first two posts centered around my love life, or more specifically my love.  I thought perhaps three, four and in truth five consecutive days of this may prove a bit much.  I mean that wouldn’t be very modern or independent woman of me.  I wouldn’t want it to appear that I am compeltely focsued on the man in my life to the exclusion of all else.

But, my next thought was screw it (I am so elegant and delicate aren’t I? L.O.L.).  Blogging, at its’ heart, is about said blogger expressing their thoughts and views on whatever topics striking their fancy at the time.  I mean this is Tenea’s World is it not?  So regardless of potential backlash…I’m in love, I’m in love and I am writing about it.  Besides, I find this ever so much more titilating than perhaps delving in to celebrity gossip or some depressing news story at this time. 

So, last night as I lay next to my man watching television.  I experienced one of those moments of clarity that you sometimes hear people speak of.  I looked at him as he slept and felt this surge of love welling up inside me.  It was like an actual physical occurrence I was so overwhelmed with love for him and contentment.  It is so simple but it’s also a miracle that I am thankfully blessed with daily.  I love this man and he loves me and so all is right within my world. 

Whatever trials and tibulations that may arise I know that I can make it through.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I would make it through no matter what.  But, knowing that I don’t have to do it alone, knowing that we have this amazing connection that I can rely on is awesome.

Growing up I was riddled with insecurities and inundated with those of others like my parents.  I know that this exposure has colored my views on relationships, men and women and what their roles should be.  Therefore as much as I know that I am ready to build a life and family with this man it also scares me.  You look at all of these otherwise intelligent, capable, loving nurturing people whom everyone thought were perfect for each other and wonder what happened? 

As you provide support and hear details of the “breakup” it astounds me how many times it was over nothing.  I am in no way belittling anyone’s feelings or their right to them.  But after you have stood before God, your friends and families and in essence the world and declared to love each other “FOREVER” how can “he didn’t pay enough attention to me”, “he always puts his friends or family before me” or “she worked too much” be valid reasons for ending a lifetime commitment?

To me these shouldn’t be trangressions serious enough to make a life altering decision.  These seem to me to be the “little things” that a lot of people are not prepared to deal with in the reality of marriage.  So many seem to think that marriage means their done.  That there is no longer a need to put in work.  Marriage is just the beginning of your lives together and like anything worth having you have to work at it.

Just as people who let themselves go physically once married or years into a relationship.  It’s like saying you used to be special enough for me to shower, do my hair etc.  but now that you have promised to stay no matter what who needs it.  Or the dreaded sleeping on the couch thing.  I have never understood that either. 

It should go without saying that I am not referring to instances where someone has broken or betrayed the vows and promises made to each other.  But for those day to day disagreements how does one decide that their position is the “right” one and that they have the power to enforce this edict in a supposedly equal relationship? Also, again excluding vow breaking issues, I am not prepared to punish myself like that.  One of the major bonuses of living together is not sleeping alone.  Remember you can always resume being upset in the morning.

As I said earlier these things and others are often on my mind these days.  I am so in love and so happy and I don’t want it to end.  I would love to say that when this happens that I know we will be different.  I am sure that some of these couples have huge irreparable issues, initially married for the wrong reasons or just didn’t care enough.  But when you look at divorce/separation statistics you have to acknowledge that there had to have been those who felt as I do yet still their unions ended.

I just want to be sure that I have my eyes open and remain aware of the blessing that this love is in my life.  As long as I have waited I refuse to lose what we have through neglect.

As always I’d love to know what you think.  See ya next time.

Peace

All About Him…………

Hello everyone!  I trust all is well in your world since we last “met”.  This morning I am in the mood to vent a little.  Are there any men out there willing to give me their opinion?  If you read yesterday’s, and my very first, post you may have gotten the impression that I am aware of and comfortable with all of my man’s issues.  While I am aware of all of them, or at least I pray that I am after eight and a half years, my comfort level and acceptance of varies from time to time.  Again, I will chalk this up to woman’s prerogative, isn’t that handy?

I mentioned that he is very much a creature of habit and is leery on trying new things.  I have often told him that I already know who he will be in his old age because he is already an old man in many ways.  I will admit that there have been many times when this part of his personality has served me well.  But, on others, his insistence that we should limit our dates because it is cheaper to do just about anything at home, can, will and does drive me crazy.

On one hand I am immensely flattered that after all of these years staying home with me still satisfies him.  However, I am a very outgoing person and in addition to that I love to perform.  neither of these needs can be fulfilled at home.  He has always been very supportive of my writing and singing and at times has even been frustrated, on my behalf, at the lack of recognition of my talents.  Again this inspires in me such warm, good and loving feelings toward him that I am often consumed with the need to express my appreciation.  But, in reality how supportive can he truly be if there is such resistance to my going out to accomplish my goals?  Are the two things not as connected as I think they are?  Perhaps when he is reluctant to either go out with me or for me to go alone he hasn’t thought it out enough to realize that even subconciously he is blocking the path to my desire. 

Or, am I just benefitting?  That used to be a favorite phrase of my mother’s.  Perhaps I am just giving the benefit of the doubt where it is not truly warranted.  Whatever the reasons I remain confident in our love and his desire to see me happy.  I know that I love him above all and have accepted him into my heart as if he were born there.  So, there is no going back, on forward together.  Always together!

So, this is just another one of those things that we need to work on.  Any suggestions?  Anyone?

Peace

Welcome To Tenea’s World

Hello and Welcome to Tenea’s World:

I am new to blogging but have been writing since I was nine years old.  I started with poetry and short stories.  I am currently working on my first novel.  I intend to share my work here along with my thoughts and opinions.  I look forward to your responses as well.

Now, for today I saw an interesting topic on another blog: “What if the woman proposes?”

I want to begin by saying that I am all for anyone going after what they want.  Proposing is inclusive in that and if it works for you than I wish you well.  But, for me this could not be.  I am, in most respects, a very modern, liberal and free-thinking woman.  However, in some things I am very traditional and being proposed to is one of these areas.  Before I explain I want to state that I am aware of the irony in my conflicting viewpoints but we will chalk it up to woman’s perogative.

But you have to know yourself and the person you love.  My man is so old school he is almost a throwback to times way before his birth.  He doesn’t really like to go out.  When we do go out I generally have had to decide where we are going etc.  He doesn’t like talking on the phone.  He has the strong, silent male thing down pat.  Has never given me a gift without soliciting suggestions from me. Yet, he has very definite views on what things he considers the man’s role.  He is very much the traditional protector/provider type of man.  So, he may avoid certain things in our day-to-day living but when he does express himself it is in a deeply touching almost soul stirring way.

That is the type of proposal I have always dreamed of RECEIVING.  I believe, as does he, that proposing is definitely one of those times when he is on his own for choosing my ring and how he proposes.  Because the words, the ring, the place are his choices for me.  They are him showing me his heart.  For him looking into my eyes and seeing the love, need and desire for him as I promise to spend my life with him – this is showing him my heart.

So, maybe it’s that simple knowing yourself, knowing the person you love and knowing what works for you both…….  What do you think?

Peace